Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Hanging on

Our dear Joan is still with us. She has been sleeping peacefully all day since the Silver Chain nurse added Clonazepam to the pump. Previously, each time she woke, she struggled to get out of bed and took a good deal of restraining before she calmed down with a dose of .2ml of clonazepam under her tongue administered by me with a small syringe.

These struggles were very frightening for us until one of the nurses told us that most deaths do not occur as they do in the movies. There is almost always some ‘terminal anxiety’ and the clonazepam is specifically to help stop the anxiety. Before it was added to the pump the family was on constant watch to catch the first signs of this anxiety so that we could administer the meds about every three hours day and night. I likened these episodes to someone drowning...trying to get up and out. This morning we were all exhausted having had short sleeps during the night.

At the moment she is in a deep sleep and will probably remain that way until the end.

It is hard to describe the relief we have felt to know that our beloved Joan is not raging against those who love her and that the meds I have been administering are not just to keep her quiet.

PS: Joan just had one of the anxiety attacks and we have had to gently hold her hands and administer a top-up dose. The SC nurses are here now and are giving her a sponge bath and back rub.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the news Kevin. I've been thinking of you both throughout the day. Paul.

Anonymous said...

Love and thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.

Ronnie and ladies at Husqvarna Sewing Club.

Anonymous said...

Thankyou so much for keeping us informed. This is an awful time for you and your family and my heart goes out to you.I pray you receive peace throughout these final hours with Joan.
Love Jannie (Wednesday sewing group)

margaret said...

Kevin
Joan is doing what she has always done. She is wanting to put everything in order.You are doing the right thing. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Kevin - you amaze me with your fortitude - I hope the night brings to you all whatever tranquility it can in these circumstances - jamesL

Bernie said...

I know you all must be exhausted and I am praying that Joan is comfortable and pain free. Keeping you all in my heart and prayers always......:-)Hugs

Anonymous said...

Kev' we have all been thinking of you all day , I think joan is in loving hands and that she she did the right thing in wanting to be with you and the family and not be in the hospital, .Our love and thoughts are with you all. Marggingl

Unknown said...

Kevin, you are all in my thoughts. Keep talking to Joan, I understand that hearing is the last sense to go.
Sheila (another Wednesday quilter)

Bernie said...

Just wanted to say hello and let you all know you are in my heart and prayers. Thinking of Joan so many times a day and saying a prayer each time I do....:-)Hugs

Carole said...

Kev,

Just to say you both remain in my thoughts.
xxxx